Aparigraha (ah-pah-ree-GRAH-hah)
The principle of non-possessiveness, refers to the ability to let go. It encourages non-grasping, non-clinging, and non-attachment to possessions or even thoughts. Aparigraha teaches you not to fill your life with "stuff" (including extraneous worries!), but rather to take it easy and be happy with what you have. --- This year, actually this month, I am turning thirty. You know, the big 3-0. To some of my friends, this has been a huge deal and even a little depressing. I can't tell you how often I have heard someone sincerely say, "I'm getting so old." I know. I roll my eyes, too.
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For the past three years, I have taught a class on New Year's Day, and it's one of my favorite classes to teach. A class full of students looking to be inspired. Wide-eyed, excited, feeling ambitious, some maybe even a little hungover. It's a great way to start a new year.
January 1, 2016 was no different than any other New Year's Day class. A class filled with some of my favorite students with big smiles and positive attitudes; it's a yoga teacher's dream. Plus, it didn't look like anyone had a hangover this year. Earlier this year, I wrote a blog post about finding happiness in 2015. I was on a mission. A mission to be happier.
I knew it was possible. I also knew that I didn't need to look anywhere else except inside myself. In order to be happier, I simply needed to create my own happiness. Have you heard of Kino MacGregor? If you haven't heard of her, I encourage you to look her up on YouTube and watch some of her amazing videos.
She has been practicing Ashtanga Yoga for over fifteen years, and I find her to be truly inspirational. I have to be honest, before I found Kino on Instagram, I didn't know a whole lot about Ashtanga Yoga, but if there is a person to make you curious about Ashtanga, it's Kino.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt insecure about my body.
I am tall and it feels like I always have been. Always the tallest girl in my class (sometimes taller than all of the boys, too), standing in the back row of all of my school pictures since kindergarten. I am five foot nine and a half and have been this tall since middle school. I have large breasts, which most people think is wonderful, but has always made me feel bigger in my belly and torso. When I gain weight, it always goes to my chest and belly before any other body part. I feel the most insecure about my stomach. Since yoga has become my full time job and my only means of an income, I very rarely get a substitute teacher for my classes. On an occasion when I do get a sub, I always notice after the class occurs that the class size is much smaller than a normal crowd for my class. The next time I teach the class, at least a few students will say to me, "I saw that you had a sub for class, so I didn't come last week." Or, in the event when I have had to change around my schedule and switch class times permanently with another teacher, I've had students tell me that they no longer take class at that time.
I really like to teach advanced poses in my classes. I find that, when explained in detail and with demonstration, most students find advanced poses pretty accessible. At the very least, they usually feel confident that they will find themselves in the pose one day.
Recently, I was teaching flying pigeon, which is usually challenging for most of my students. During one particular class, a student, who was feeling defeated, said to me, "I don't feel like I will ever get this pose! What is the secret?" I responded, "You have to practice! You have to really want to get the pose." Without realizing that my words may have offended her, or anyone else, I continued with class. Once there was a man walking across a field who encountered a tiger. When the man saw the tiger, he fled across the field, the tiger chased after him. Coming to a cliff, he caught hold of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge. The tiger looked down at the man and sniffed at him from above. Terrified, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger had come, waiting to eat him. The man then notices two mice, one white and one black, who have begun to gnaw away at the vine. The man suddenly becomes distracted when he sees a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine in one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. Oh, and how sweet it tasted!
--- When I read this story, I laughed. I thought, "If only everyone could have such a positive attitude -- including me!" When you think about challenges in your life, what comes to mind? Does the thought of facing a challenge fill you with stress and worry? Or do you think, "No big deal; I can get through anything!" Perhaps, you have mixed feelings, like me. Over the past few weeks, I have been experiencing major changes in my yoga practice. I contribute these changes to the workshops I have attended recently taught by a variety of teachers, and also to my teacher, Lindsay Lusignea, who I have been working with one-on-one to expand my knowledge and advance my practice.
Yesterday, I took a backbending workshop with Kino MacGregor, which was fantastic. I was mostly impressed with her knowledge of anatomy because she seemed to know EVERYTHING. Her verbal cues and ability to demonstrate poses were incredible. Besides being a great yoga teacher, she seems kind, humble, and light-hearted. I feel truly grateful to have had the opportunity to learn from her. Although I was genuinely impressed by Kino, I left her workshop feeling less confident about my ability to teach yoga and had huge doubts about my practice. Specifically, I felt most insecure about a backbending workshop that I taught last month. After attending Kino's workshop yesterday, I really questioned whether or not I was qualified to have taught a workshop about backbends. For a moment, I actually questioned whether or not I am qualified to be teaching yoga at all. As a full time yoga teacher, I teach a lot of students each week. When I say a lot, I mean that I teach over one hundred different students of all different levels every week. One of the things that I hear students say the most is, "I can't".
My reaction is usually, "You can't? But I haven't even seen you try! How do you know that you can't?" Seriously. How do you know that you can't do something if you haven't tried? Perhaps the pose that you have deemed "impossible" is actually very possible for you, but you are simply afraid. Maybe in this moment you lack confidence which is what makes you proclaim, "I can't!". Maybe it has very little to do with your physical ability and has everything to do with your attitude. |
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